


i'm not fair and you're not sound

by ghoultown



Series: a dad, a demon, and their son [7]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Chronology, Demon Motel, Demon Parenting, Demon Shane Madej, Facetime, Flashbacks, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Parent AU, Ryan Bergara Loves Shane Madej, Sappy, Separation Anxiety, Shane Madej Loves Ryan Bergara, Sickfic, Withdrawal, briefly long distance relationship?, good gay dads, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-08-30 04:31:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16757728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghoultown/pseuds/ghoultown
Summary: "I need to go away for awhile," Shane said.Ryan looked up from his phone, his glasses low on his nose, "What."or, shane's been holding something off for awhile and ryan has some time to reminisce





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> we're getting so so close to the wedding and i can't WAIT. but for now, let's get the rough stuff over with and fix shane up a little bit. 
> 
> another multi-chapter fic!!!!!!! oh boy!!!!

"I need to go away for awhile," Shane said.

Ryan looked up from his phone, his glasses low on his nose, "What."

"I've been holding something off," Shane continued, shifting on his feet in the doorway. He held an empty backpack in his left hand and his phone in the other and he looked positively sick. Ryan placed his phone screen-down on the comforter and untucked his legs, looking like he wanted to walk over and do something, but he just stayed on the mattress, waiting. "I don't want it to affect you and Wyatt. So I need to go away for awhile."

"Okay, um." Ryan blinked a few times. He slid his glasses from his nose, "Can I... Can I ask? What the something is?"

Shane rubbed at his eyes. "Yeah," he said, his voice cracking. Ryan went to stand and comfort him, but Shane sank onto the bed and placed his head in his hands. Ryan wrapped himself around his demon immediately.

"What is it, baby?" Ryan whispered.

"I haven't..." Shane turned his head to rest his hand-covered face in Ryan's neck, "Souls. I haven't had any since I met you and it's been really great and I'm glad I met you obviously, but I... I can't hold off withdrawal anymore. It's been a few years, I think I should just get it over with."

"Oh," Ryan said.

"Not that I would hurt you or Wy if I stayed." Shane peeked through his fingers to Ryan, "Never. It's just not very pretty, you know, and I won't want to subject you to that. I don't want you to see me like that."

"Okay," Ryan said, unsure as to why he was so gladly letting Shane go off on his own like this. "Do you need me to do anything?"

Shane hesitated but decided on a resounding, "No, I'll be fine. No worries. It's just... embarrassing, I guess."

"Take all the time you need _." Don't go, let me take care of you,_ he thought, but Shane couldn't hear it. "Can we still call you?"

"Of course!" Shane let his hands thud into his lap, "It's not... I don't want to do this to stay away from you. I don't ever wanna be away from you, I love you, I just - " _I'm afraid you won't want me like this._

"Okay," Ryan held Shane's hand in his. "Okay. It's okay. Do you... how long will you be gone?"

"Just a few days," Shane muttered. "I won't spend one second away that I don't have to."

"I believe you."

"Thank you." Shane looked so tired. Ryan kissed the side of his mouth.

"Are you leaving... now?"

"No, I was thinking I'd go in the morning," Shane rubbed his scruffy jaw with his free hand, looking at the wall, "I was thinking I should give some explanation to Wy."

"Okay."

-

_When Shane told Ryan he was a demon, he'd expected something more than what he got, a lame reaction and a request to reach something on the top shelf. This was the first time he'd 1) told anyone who he was, and more importantly, 2) seen Ryan as someone he could spend the rest of his life with. The second part of this was something he wasn't sure he could admit to himself yet, so he placed it on the back burner, and instead tried to figure out what he was going to say to Wyatt._

_"Should I..." Shane asked, his arms full of bags as he followed Ryan to the car, "Like, just? Whip 'em out?"_

_"Don't use that terminology when speaking about my son."_

_"No, I was talking about the wings, but I - Okay. I don't know how to do this," Shane said, nestling the groceries into the back of Ryan's trunk. "It took a month or two to tell you, I didn't think you were gonna respond like you did, so I don't know how Wyatt's going to respond either."_

_"How did you think I was going to respond?" Ryan asked, raising an eyebrow, leaning down to organize the bags so they wouldn't fall over on the ride home._

_"I didn't think I'd have to worry about telling Wyatt, I suppose," Shane said, closing the trunk door and wincing at Ryan's odd expression. "Can you blame me?"_

_"Not really," Ryan said, wanting to reach out and comfort the demon but figuring it wasn't appropriate. He blamed it on his fatherly instincts. "But you just... tell him you have wings. I don't want you to tell him you're a demon."_

_"Okay," Shane said, understanding Ryan's reasoning and trying to smother the sting that bloomed in his chest. "So how do I..."_

_"Just say you have wings, and he'll say 'prove it,' and then you show him that you have wings," Ryan said, adjusting his warm keys in his palm. "He's five years old, Shane, he won't think twice about it."_

_"Okay," Shane said, nodding and moving around to his side of the car, "Okay, I can do this."_

_Shane had worked himself into a panic attack by the time they pulled into the driveway, wincing as he reached to unbuckle his seatbelt, "Oh, fuck, my neck."_

_"Calm down," Ryan said, unlocking the doors, "It'll be fine. You can take your medicine when we get inside, should chill the pain a bit."_

_Shane wondered if he should mention that eventually he'd be able to heal this kind of thing, but he was too weak. "Okay, thanks."_

_An hour and a pill and a half later, Wyatt was wrangled onto the couch and Shane was lingering nervously in the doorway._

_"So," Shane said, sitting down on the couch next to Wyatt, who clutched his phone to his chest while leaning into his father's side, "I gotta tell you something."_

_"What is it?" Wyatt asked, tired and confused and already bored._

_Shane froze. Almost as if he'd forgotten what he had to say._

_"He has wings," Ryan said, instead, ruffling Wyatt's hair. "Like a bird."_

_"Not a bird," Shane said, breaking out his trance, his eyebrows drawn together. "But yes. Wings."_

_"Lemme see 'em," Wyatt said, looking doubtful but intrigued, sitting further up. Ryan nudged him with his elbow. "Please."_

_"Okay," Shane said, standing up and brushing his hands down his pants. "Can you, uh..."_

_Ryan raised an eyebrow, "What?"_

_"Turn around?" Shane said quietly, rubbing his hand up his arm, "I've never shown humans - I mean. Anyone my wings before."_

_"Sure," Wyatt said, covering his eyes, Ryan giving him a look before covering his eyes with his hands as well._

_There was a distinct wooshing sound, as well as the tearing of fabric, before Shane gave the go-ahead. "Okay, you can look now. Be nice."_

_When Ryan opened his eyes and saw Shane standing there, framed by two elegant black wings, it was the first time he'd 1) seen a demon, and 2) seen Shane as someone he could spend the rest of his life with._

_Wyatt spent an hour walking around Shane, asking questions and stroking his feathers and jumping up and down with excitement. Shane only looked to Ryan, who shrugged and sunk into the couch._

-

The symptoms had been building for years, Shane could feel them. The ache of withdrawal energy trying to worm its way through the pores in his skin, through the cracks in his horns, the tears in his feathers. It wasn't fair to his family, to Ryan and Wyatt and everyone else he'd come in contact with as he continued on the path to marital bliss. To domestic bliss. To happiness with humans, the happiest possible existence, the one he'd been yearning for over the decades.

Waiting for happiness. He'd do it all over again, if he had to, and he'd most certainly leave the house for a few days, maybe a few weeks, to keep his family safe.

"I'll be at..." Shane grunted as he dragged the bag over his shoulder, barely strong enough to lift it, "... a special motel. For demonfolk like me, so I'll be safe. And you'll be safe too, obviously, because I'm going."

Ryan shook his head and took Shane's face in his hands, "Please stay. Please."

"I can't put you and Wy in danger at my own hands, Ryan," Shane said quietly, closing his eyes as Ryan's warm lips pressed into his cheek. "Of all the things I'd do, that's not one of them."

"You couldn't hurt us if you tried," Ryan said, though he wasn't sure. He wasn't of many things when it came to Shane. Who was he, who did he used to be? What was going to happen now? "I don't want you to do this alone."

"I won't be that alone. You know where I'll be, and..." Shane said, holding up his phone, "I'll call you."

"I love you," Ryan said.

Wyatt peeked out from his bedroom, wilted with sleep, "Bird? Leaving?"

"Hey!" Shane said, his voice bright as he knelt down, the inconsistent thuds of a sleepy boy running as fast as his little legs can take him. He leapt into Shane's arms, knocking the demon on his back on the cold concrete stoop. Ryan winced, pushing Shane back up to sitting position.

"Be careful, Wyatt," Ryan said, patting his bed hair down, "He's a little sick, right now."

"I don't mind," Shane said, hugging the boy as tight as he could manage, eyes closed as tight as they could go. "I love you, Wy. I'll be back before you know it."

"I don't want you to leave."

"I don't want to leave either," Shane said. He pressed a kiss to Wyatt's head, looking up to Ryan with a smile, "Will you help me up, dear?"

Ryan nodded, teary-eyed at his demon, terrified to see the strongest man so weak, holding his hands out. "Of course."

-

_"Hey," Shane said, peering into Ryan's room and knocking three times on the door to his right, "Wyatt's successfully asleep."_

_"That's good," Ryan said, placing his book face down on the blanket beside him. "It's funny how he'll only let you tuck him in, these days."_

_"I do the voices he likes when I tell stories," Shane stepped further into the room, closing the door behind him. He leaned on the door for a moment, taking a deep breath, "Can I... talk to you, about something?"_

_"Sure," Ryan said, moving the book and patting the empty space. Both of them were aware it was the first time Shane would be in Ryan's bed, and if Shane had a functioning heart, it would have been beating as fast as Ryan's. "Go for it. You okay?"_

_"Yeah, I'm fine," Shane crawled up, sitting on his heels, his hands on his thighs, "I just... need to ask you something."_

_"Okay...?" Ryan slipped his glasses off of his nose, folding them. "What's up."_

_"I... feel like," Shane said, tapping his thumbs nervously, "I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I feel like... we have this thing that's happening."_

_"What?"_

_"A thing," Shane repeated. "A feelings thing."_

_"Um?" Ryan fought the urge to smile. Shane was so nervous, but his message was loud and clear, and Ryan couldn't wait to tell him he agreed. But he wanted to make him squirm first. "I don't think I understand."_

_"Okay," Shane said, pushing himself to sit cross-legged, holding his arms out to gesture, "The other night, we were watching a movie and you fell asleep and your head fell on my shoulder, do you remember that?"_

_"I do," Ryan nodded._

_"And you woke up, at some point, but you didn't move your head."_

_"I didn't."_

_"I'm not..." Shane looked away, rubbing his forehead, stressed out with all of his attention to his own feelings, "I'm not familiar with many human things, but I think that's like... a..." Shane paused, trying to get Ryan to fill in the blanks. Ryan didn't. "A feelings thing."_

_"Define, a feelings thing."_

_"Like, a human dating thing."_

_"Yes, it is."_

_Shane blinked. "Do you wanna do a human dating thing? With me?"_

_"I do."_

_Shane covered his face with his hands, resisting the urge to shout with unbridled glee, "Thank God."_

_"You can thank God?" Ryan asked, his cheeks warm._

_"I can do whatever I want," Shane said, falling to the side, his head landing on Ryan's pillow. He sighed with relief, his neck finally healed enough to appreciate the softness of pillows. "These are nice pillows."_

_"You can stay in here tonight, if you want," Ryan said, off topic but completely something he wanted. "With me."_

_"This seems like we're moving a little fast."_

_"You've already been living here for a few months," Ryan shrugged, sinking down under the blankets. "I'm not gonna kiss you, though."_

_"Oh, right. Right," Shane said, untucking the sheets and scrambling into place. He went to turn on his side, but paused, "Thank you."_

_"For what?"_

_"Dating me."_

_"We haven't dated yet."_

_"Then," Shane thought for a moment, "Thanks for letting me stay in here."_

_"You're very welcome, Shane," Ryan said, looking over his shoulder, "Thanks for asking to date me."_

_"You're very welcome, Ryan."_

-

Shane entered the main office. The motel was dingy and small, but perfect. He set his bag by his feet, digging in his wallet for the card with the password on it.

"How are you doing, today, sir?" The woman behind the counter asked.

"I'm well, thank you." Shane fumbled with the card for a moment, holding it up to his eyes, "Is Room 17 available?"

The woman blinked her eyes to black. Shane smiled at the familiarity of it as she handed him a key.

"Thanks so much," he said quietly.

"If you need anything," she said, her eyes returning to bright blue, "Call this desk. We have suppressants, if you need those as well."

"No, I'll be going natural this time," he said. "I've got a family, I've gotta get over this somehow."

"Very brave," she smiled. "Your room is around the back, sixth door from the right."

Shane nodded, grabbing his bags and swallowing the groan of pain before it could escape his lips. He once could lift Ryan over his head with his right hand, now a five pound bag rendered him useless?

-

_Their first date was interesting. Ryan dropped Wyatt off at his brother's house after school before running by the house to grab the tall demon, who had both managed to dress up and down for the occasion._

_"I'm wearing my work clothes," Ryan said, glancing over at Shane, "That okay?"_

_"Yeah! Yeah, that's great," Shane nodded, looking down at himself. "Am I okay?"_

_"You're great," Ryan said with a smile. He looked back to the road, wondering if Shane was stressed out. He would be if he was on a date that may or may not decide how long he stayed at a certain place. Shane just tapped an indiscernible beat on his legs, looking from windshield-to-window._

_"Hey," Shane said finally, piercing the air after a tension-filled minute, "I like you."_

_Ryan blinked, pulling into a parking spot and pulling the key from the ignition. "Do you?"_

_"Of course I do," Shane said. "I'm not very... complicated."_

_"Well," Ryan turned slightly, "I like you too. But I'm very complicated."_

_Shane shook his head, "No, you're not?"_

_"I've got a kid, Shane. That's pretty complicated."_

_"That's the least complicated part of you," Shane said, instead, reaching a hand out tentatively. Ryan took it. "The complicated part is trying to figure out what we do when we get in there."_

_Ryan looked toward the restaurant and chuckled, "We don't have to go in there."_

_"What else is there to do?" Shane asked, tilting his head slightly._

_Ryan retrieved his hands, spiking Shane's fear to the roof of the car and beyond, and replaced the key. "Let's get fast food."_

_"Fast food!" Shane cheered, slumping back into his seat. "That's a good plan. It's been awhile."_

_Ryan and Shane sat in the parking lot, hands covered in grease, both probably laughing in incredibly unattractive ways, but neither of them seemed to care._

_"This is fun," Shane said with a nod, piles of wrappers gathering in his lap._

_"It is," Ryan agreed with a smile. "We should do this more."_

_"Yeah," Shane said. He froze, "Like, in this context?"_

_"Definitely in this context," Ryan said, somewhat eagerly._

_Immediately after their date, they retired to the house to lay in Ryan's bed and watch terrible horror movies that still seemed to scare Ryan, and Shane was placed on protection duty._

-

The motel room was nothing special. Shane must have been spoiled by Ryan's hospitality, because when Shane used to sleep in these rooms, he considered them luxurious. Now, he could see them as they were, and they were falling apart. The lamps seemed one switch away from combustion, the wallpaper was yellowed and peeling just enough to reveal another layer of yellowed paper, and nothing smelled like Ryan. For the first time in five years, Shane felt loneliness seep into his sore bones.

Shane placed his things on the carpet, kicking his shoes off and crawling onto the rickety bed. His feet hung from the end of the mattress, but he was too exhausted and aching to care, and fell asleep immediately.

Ryan was having a rough time adjusting to a lack of Shane in his life. So did Wyatt. There was an empty space, an empty function to the house. Breakfast was lonely and overcooked, lacking Shane's never-failing internal clock telling Ryan to flip the pancakes and take the pans off the burner. Ryan's day seemed to last longer without the promise of Shane at home, waiting with hugs and insults to his annoying coworkers.

The worst part was that he could hear Shane in his head. He could hear his thoughts, the internal noises of pain and the small _I miss Ryans_ and _I miss Wyatts_ that dipped into his consciousness. He would text Shane when his boss disappeared into his office, telling him how much he missed him as well.

Wyatt's bedtime was inconsistent as well.

"When's Bird coming back?" Wyatt asked from the doorway, holding his pillow to his chest.

"When he gets better," Ryan sighed, rubbing his eyes before patting the mattress. He couldn't say much else. It was difficult trying to console his son when he, himself, was rendered inconsolable, "Come here, baby. You can sleep in here tonight, if you want."

Wyatt threw himself up on the bed, crawling to settle in his father's side. "I miss him."

"I miss him too," Ryan pet Wyatt's hair down, "But he's doing this so we'll be safe. Because he loves and misses us too."

The boy nodded and frowned, "Okay, dad."

Ryan hugged him close. "He'll be back soon."


	2. Chapter 2

_“Heyyyy,”_ Shane’s voice came in before the picture caught up, the wifi in the house slightly less powerful without Shane around, constantly upping it. The picture caught up with the nearly unfamiliar graveled voice and Ryan fought the urge to wince. _“How are you?”_

“I’m fine,” Ryan said, holding his head up with his hand as he looked over the screen, shaking his head slowly, “Oh, baby, you look so… sickly.”

 _“I love it when you praise me,”_ Shane smiled, his lips chapped and his eyes looking deeper in his skull than possible. _“Are you really fine, Ry?”_

“Yeah,” Ryan said, nodding, though he felt exactly the opposite. “And you? Are you eating, are you okay?”

 _“Yeah, I just – “_ Shane paused, placing the phone down on the bed, _“I’m gonna mute the call really quick, okay?”_

“Wha – Why?” Ryan blinked as the fuzzy background noise that motels, both human and otherwise, always had. “Shane?”

After a few moments of silence, Shane returned into frame and lifted the camera back to his face. The angle outlined even more: Shane’s otherwise scruffy chin was definitely growing more of a beard, his cheekbones protruding, and Ryan hoped it was the lighting that was causing his skin to look so gray.

 _“Okay, sorry,”_ Shane offered an unfamiliar smile as he buried himself under stiff blankets, tucking himself up to his nose. _“Just had to… uh, expel.”_

Ryan rolled his eyes, his frustration bubbling in the back of his throat, “Shane, I wish you’d just let me help you.”

 _“You do already, so much.”_ Shane’s voice sounded worse than when his neck was kicked in.

Ryan opened his mouth to respond, but Wyatt was jumping on him, grasping at his shoulders and trying to climb him like he would with Shane. His father gave him a scolding look and he crawled onto the mattress like a normal boy, eyebrows turned up in a silent apology.

“Hi, Bird!” Wyatt said, grasping the phone and holding it too close to his eyes for Ryan’s liking. “Oh, you look gross.”

“ _Wyatt_ ,” Ryan whispered.

 _“Hey, Wy!”_ Shane said instead, mimicking Wyatt’s closeness to the screen. _“I do look pretty gnarly, don’t I?”_

“Come home,” Wyatt said instead, somewhat of a demand. If he were upright, he would have stamped his foot, “Now, please.”

 _“I can’t yet, bud,”_ Shane backed away, his face full of remorse. Ryan bit his knuckles. He couldn’t help but get emotional. Shane was his rock and having him in pain was something he hadn’t thought of enough to prepare him. Shane had hidden everything so well. What else had he hidden? _“Can’t be too many more days, now. I’ll be home before you know it. I love you.”_

The noise went silent again, Shane’s face paler than before as he ducked out frame.

“Bird?” Wyatt asked, coming close to the screen again.

 _“Yeah,”_ Shane said, and Ryan had no doubt that he’d run back to the phone. _“What’s up, dear?”_

“Nothin’. Just miss you,” Wyatt said, blowing a kiss. Shane smiled and did the same. “Love you.”

 _“Love you too, munch. Can I speak to your dad?”_ Shane rubbed at his eyes with his free hand as Ryan regained control. Wyatt kissed the screen before scurrying out the door and Ryan whimpered. _“Woah, hey, hey. Ry, are you okay?”_

“I just miss you too,” Ryan sighed. “So much.”

_“I miss you more.”_

-

_Intimacy was not something to consider this early in a relationship, Ryan knew this much. He’d had a kid, and intimacy was going to be a challenge anyways with Wyatt’s free reign around the house and his unmeasurable intelligence and Ryan’s unspoken no-locked-doors rule._

_But there was one caveat to seriously dating a male, demon or not: the roles of intimacy._

_Ryan had been with men, sure, in his younger days. But he was just that, younger and inexperienced, and there was no real understanding of Shane, his age, or his experience. And he could lie to himself and pretend that he hadn’t thought of it, but it would be unsuccessful._

_Shane wouldn’t make it easy. He’d smile at Ryan in that soft way, or lift Wyatt over his head with ease and give a glimpse of his stomach as he did. Ryan was running on fumes. It had been awhile since he’d been with anyone, nearly five years, and Shane seemed to make his entire world flip on its head._

_And then Ryan got a call from one of Wyatt’s friends, asking if Wyatt could spend the night, and Ryan nearly leapt at the opportunity, packing Wyatt’s things (though the subtle guilt tugged at his collar)._

_The Subaru pulled into the carport an hour later. Shane offered to chaperone Wyatt out the door, meet the other family, but Ryan insisted that he stay._

_“I’ll be right back,” he said, awkwardly touching Shane’s shoulder. “Just… stay put.”_

_“Okay,” Shane said, raising an eyebrow, sitting down on the couch reluctantly. “Are you good?”_

_“Yeah, I’m good,” Ryan said, completely frazzled, lifting Wyatt onto his hip and placing his backpack in his arms. “You ready, Wy?”_

_“Yeah!” Wyatt said, pointing toward the door. “Let’s go.”_

_Ryan kept the interaction brief: hugging Stella’s mother and telling her to call him if she needs anything, complimenting Stella’s shoes, kissing Wyatt on the head and sending them off. He waited for the car to pull out and get a few yards from the driveway before he ran back inside._

_“Hey,” he said, closing the door behind him. Shane looked up from the couch, looking him over, confused. “You should, uh. Come here.”_

_“Okay?” Shane said, standing up and striding over to his human, looking down at him. “What is it?”_

_“I’d really like to kiss you,” Ryan said, his feet planted._

_Shane raised his eyebrows, “Oh.”_

_“May I?”_

_“You may.”_

_It didn’t take long for the concept of roles to be brought up. In fact, seconds into their tryst, Shane lifted Ryan up in his arms and Ryan pulled away, his hand on Shane’s chest._

_“Wait,” he said quietly, eyes dazed but searching for some sort of answer, “Are you…?”_

_“Hm?” Shane asked, his brain completely scrambled._

_“Like, are you…” Ryan didn’t know how to say it. “Do you… receive?”_

_“What a weird…” Shane paused, laughing, dropping his head into Ryan’s neck as he slowly fell into a fit of giggles. “What a weird way to phrase that.”_

_“I mean!” Ryan’s face went red, clutching to the front of Shane’s shirt. “How else could I phrase it?”_

_“A million different ways,” Shane said, adjusting his grip on Ryan to wipe his eyes with one free hand. “I can’t believe…”_

_“Are you?” Ryan pressed, his head falling heavily back on Shane’s upper arm. “It’s been awhile, Shane, don’t be mean.”_

_“I’m not mean,” Shane said, walking in the general direction of Ryan’s room. “But yes. I receive.”_

_“You do?” Ryan raised his eyebrows._

_“Yeah,” Shane said, “That a problem?”_

_“Absolutely not,” Ryan said, trying to claim Shane’s mouth again. “_ Absolutely _not.”_

-

Ryan was laying Wyatt down for bed when he heard Shane again, loud and weak in the back of his head.

_I can’t do this._

Ryan paused, pulling the covers up to Wyatt’s chin and kissing his temple, “Who do I love?”

“Me,” Wyatt yawned.

_Fuck, my head._

"And who do you love?"

_I don’t think I can throw up anymore. Where’s it all coming from?_

"You," Wyatt’s eyes fluttered closed.

"And who does Bird love?" Ryan felt the tears and quickly switched off the lamp.

_My legs are broken. Definitely broken._

"Us."

_I miss Ryan. I miss Wyatt. I love Ryan. I love Wyatt._

Ryan frowned and kissed Wyatt's head, smoothing out the covers. "That's right."

-

_The first time Shane and Ryan fought, it was a shock to the system._

_“I don’t understand?” Shane said, looking at Ryan from across the room, bearing a pillow like a shield._

_Ryan looked back at him, holding his pillow over his head, “We need this.”_

_“Do we?” Shane raised an eyebrow, ducking as Ryan threw his pillow at his head. “Hey! I wasn’t ready.”_

_“You’re not supposed to be ready, Shane,” Ryan said, sliding behind the couch to reload. “We’re fighting.”_

_“But I don’t want to fight with you,” Shane fell to his knees, crawling behind the loveseat as more missiles were shot. “I love you.”_

_“Fighting’s good for a relationship,” Ryan peeked over the back of the couch. “We should fight more.”_

_“We shouldn’t,” Shane said, giving in and tossing a throw plush over the wall of his fortress._

_“There are better ways to be good at relationship-ing. Like using the time away from your kid to love each other, not pelt each other with – hey!” One of Wyatt’s stuffed animals bounced off of his nose and he covered his face with his hand, “Ow.”_

_“Less talking, more fighting.”_

_“You’re very violent, for a father,” Shane said, moving further behind the couch to summon up some tears. “That really hurt.”_

_“Did it?” Ryan popped up, scanning for Shane. “Shane?”_

_Shane bit his lip, stifling his laughter, filling his arms with everything soft he could gather on the floor._

_“… Shane?” Ryan stood. “Did I hurt you?”_

_Shane crawled further away from the edge of the couch, curling into a ball, ready to strike. Ryan crept towards the sofa, his worry for his demon overriding his knowledge of Shane’s mischief._

_“Baby?” Ryan knelt on the couch, looking over the side. He blinked as he realized Shane disappeared. “Did I kill you?”_

_“No,” Shane said, his voice just over Ryan’s shoulder, lifting him and pinning him to the couch, (gingerly) hitting his shoulders and sides with his soft ammo as he straddled his waist. Ryan laughed harder than he’d ever laughed, gasping for air and trying to grasp at Shane’s hands. “I got you!”_

_“You did! You did!” Ryan cried, throwing his head back as Shane tossed his weapons to the side and began a tickling tirade, “Shane! Truce, truce!”_

_“That’s what I thought,” Shane said, slowing his hands and resting his palms on Ryan’s chest, catching his breath. He felt Ryan’s hands under his shirt, warm and squeezing as he regained control of his lungs. “Truce, you say.”_

_“Truce, I say,” Ryan agreed, smiling._

_Shane brushed Ryan’s hair from his forehead and sighed, “Truce we shall have.”_

-

Ryan called Shane one night to get his help with the paperwork needed to transfer Wyatt to his new school. Shane had created some birth certificates and other important documents for himself before he’d left, knowing they’d be important.

“Your middle name is Alexander?” Ryan asked as he wrote it down on the line. “That’s cute.”

 _“Thanks,”_ Shane’s voice was rocky, but Ryan could identify a smile inside of it. _“My mom gave it to me.”_

Shane was helpful, as he always was. But Ryan’s heart would wrench in his chest whenever he could hear Shane cough distantly or groan out an answer. Hearing his demon, immortal and incapable of pain, in agony.

“Let me see you,” Ryan said, picking his phone up from the bed, holding it to his face and shoving the papers aside. A few of them fluttered to the floor.

 _“I look terrible,”_ Shane offered, though he turned his camera on anyway.  
Ryan’s eyes watered up, “Oh, Shane.”

 _“I told you,”_ Shane said, covering his face with one hand. He leaned out of frame to cough into his elbow, his eyes rimmed with red and his cheeks hollowed. _“Can’t blame me.”_

“I wouldn’t dare,” Ryan said, his voice strangled in the back of his throat. “Please, Shane, let me take care of you.”

 _“No, no,”_ Shane shook his head, brushing his hand through his greasy hair, _“It’s almost over, I feel a little better.”_

“No offense, darling, but you don’t look better,” Ryan said, his face sour with concern. “Really, Shane. I can get Wyatt a sitter. I don’t want you alone, right now.”

 _“Ryan,”_ Shane was nearly scolding, and Ryan pursed his lips. _“I’ll be home before you know it. This is the last time I’ll ever be away from you, if I can help it.”_

“But you’re sick, baby, I want to take care of you.”

 _“You will, one day,”_ Shane assured him. Ryan closed his eyes and sighed. _“Just not this time. It’s too dangerous.”_

“Okay,” Ryan shook his head, “Alright, just… if you change your mind, tell me.”

-

_Somehow, Ryan had managed to lure Shane out of the house Halloween night. He'd been building up his case for months, mentioning how much he loved amusement parks and how much he knew about Knott's Berry Farm (a forty-minute-plus presentation he gave in the car on a long drive to Northern California on a whim to Shane, who was unsuspecting but supportive nonetheless), implanting the seed of excitement in Wyatt's head every time the commercials appeared on the television._

_"What I'd give to know what's going on in your head," Shane would say from the passenger seat, massaging his left shoulder with his right hand as Wyatt (dressed as a bumblebee) kicked at the back of his seat. "Where are we going, Ryan? There are trick-or-treaters in our neighborhood, I thought you loved being in control of other people's kids."_

_"I do, but I'd love to spend tonight out," Ryan reached over and placed his hand on Shane's lap, which Shane always loved, "With my family."_

_"Sounds good," Shane said, dropping his hand from his shoulder to pat Ryan's hand._

_As soon as they pulled into a parking spot, Ryan flipped down his visor to stick his fangs in and outline his eyes with black liner, his hair already slicked back._

_"Hey, what the hell?" Shane asked, throwing his hands up. "I thought we weren't doing costumes?"_

_"Nickle!" Wyatt called, yanking at his child-locked door handle._

_"Well, I guess you'll just be the lame one, this year," Ryan shrugged, pulling blood capsules out of his shirt pocket. He turned to look at Shane, who shook his head disdainfully._

_"You look hot," Shane sighed. "I can't believe you."_

_"I'll keep this outfit," Ryan offered, "For... later."_

_"Please, please do," Shane said, his mouth clearly watering but he reigned it in as Wyatt grasped at his ears. "I... you've betrayed me."_

_"I love Halloween," Ryan said, "I'll dress up if I want to."_

_"I wonder if they sell costumes, here," Shane pushed his door open and pulled Wyatt's door open as well, "I don't wanna be left out."_

_"Well..." Ryan said._

_"Well, what?" Shane blinked at him, walking around the hood. Ryan just crossed his arms over his chest, looking at him with those soft eyes, "What, Ryan?"_

_"You have wings," Wyatt finished for his father, tugging at Shane's dress-shirt sleeve. "That's like a costume."_

_Ryan shrugged when Shane gave him a helpless glance, "And horns. And eyes. And teeth."_

_"Oh, no. No, I couldn't..." Shane pressed his fingertips to his mouth in thought, looking over towards the lights and excitement over the fence._

_"Why not?" Ryan asked, close to a whine, wrapping his arms around Shane's waist, slipping his fingers into the waistband of his jeans. The demon melted into his touch, giving him a look. "No one'll question it, baby. You fit in, here. Everyone's got horns and black eyes."_

_"Mm," Shane said, looking over Ryan's face. "What about..." He looked to the boy who was hugging to his leg._

_"Your eyes won't scare him," Ryan leaned up and kissed his cheek, "He loves you too much."_

_"Okay," Shane exhaled, snatching a longer kiss before extracting himself from his human, "Alright. Gimme some space, I haven't let 'em out in awhile, they might hit you."_

_Shane had a wonderful time. He received compliments on compliments from passersby, people reaching out to touch his wings and horns, giving him "props" on the detail and realistic material. Shane just smirked in response. He would break off from Ryan and Wyatt to scare the haunt talent, laughing and apologizing and high-fiving people immediately after._

_Ryan would just link arms with him, trying not to stare. As odd as it was, Shane's special features being allowed in public, viewed by others, made Shane seem slightly more attractive, which before that moment had been completely impossible. And watching Shane have the time of his life (Ryan caught him skipping, once) was more rewarding than he could have ever predicted._

-

Ryan stood in front of the motel room door, every nerve in his body burning hot.

He couldn’t have waited anymore. The buildup of Shane’s thoughts were painful in his skull like long-lasting headaches and the guilt of not being there for one of the most important people in his life was almost worse. He couldn’t imagine how Shane had felt.

So he booked Wyatt a sitter and packed his first aid kit and a few washcloths in his backpack and went to the address. He’d barely remembered the card with the password, but the woman at the desk flashed her eyes to black, asking if he was there to see the tall man in red fleece, which seemed as close to Shane as could be summed up in so little words.

He wondered if he should check if this was the right door, hand poised to knock, when his phone rang. _Shane_.

Instead of answering, he opened the door. Thankfully, it was unlocked. Shane hadn’t forgotten the no-locking rule, though he was worried for this application of it.

"Oh," Shane stood up straighter, standing in the middle of the room by the bed, hovering over a packed bag that laid open on the mattress. He let his phone fall onto the duvet. "Hey."

Ryan squeaked as Shane strode quickly across the room, picked him up in a tight hug, and squeezed him close.

"Hey," he said, strained through Shane's arms constricting his chest. His strength was back, Ryan realized, tenfold. "Can't. Breathe."

"Oh, sorry." Shane let him go. Ryan wobbled on his feet, bracing his hand on the wall, looking up at Shane in some level of awe. "What are you doing here?"

"I… came to take care of you..." Ryan said, looking Shane over for any of the signs of illness he'd seen and heard over the phone over the past five days. There were none.

"Well, I was calling to tell you that I'm comin' home!" Shane gestured excitedly to his bag, "So, you dodged a bullet!"

Ryan frowned, "I'm so sorry, baby."

Shane's eyebrows furrowed, "What, why?"

"You were all alone," Ryan said quietly, wrapping his arms around Shane's hips, "I felt so guilty, I kept hearing your thoughts, I... should have come earlier, I – “

"No," Shane shook his head, framing Ryan's face with his warm hands, "I'm glad you didn't, really, you wouldn't have wanted to see me like that, I promise."

"I do," Ryan's eyes were watery and Shane was panicking, "I want to see you like that. I want to help you and make sure you don't go through tough times. We're nearly married, Shane, I want to see everything."

Shane shrugged, a solemn smile on his face, running his hands through Ryan’s hair in the way he knew he could comfort his human, "The worst is over now, Ry. Don't worry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i tried to make the distance as quick as possible while giving a bit of fluff as well because i want them to be happy so so bad.
> 
> next chapter, we get some of shane's past lives !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and his demon origin !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! exciting stuff.


	3. Chapter 3

“Let me see you,” Ryan said, waving his hand as he sat on the bed in anticipation. He crossed his legs and propped his head up on his hands. Wyatt was asleep in the middle of the bed, tired out after a day full of exhausting the babysitter, his hands still clenched in a mold around where they had squeezed Shane’s moments earlier, demanding that he never leave again. Shane couldn’t resist.

Shane raised his eyebrows suggestively, looking to the boy sprawled out on the mattress, “Right now?”

“Your wings,” Ryan clarified with a punctuating cough, “Do they feel better?”

“They really do,” Shane said, unbuttoning his shirt. Ryan gave him a look. “What? This is my good shirt, I don’t want to tear it.”

“You’ve got your strength back,” Ryan offered, “You could just, uh, zap it back.”

Shane paused. “You know what? You’re right.”

“You’re damn right, I’m right.”

The demon took a deep breath, seeming to pause, “Ry, they might not be... great, you know.”

“I don’t mind,” Ryan said, remembering the night that Shane had woken up, head pulsing, eyes watering as he brushed his hands over his feathers that were so frail they seemed to shatter underneath his touch. “I just missed you, is all. I’d like to see you again.”

“Okay,” Shane said, nodding and letting his arms relax at his sides. “I trust you.”

Ryan couldn’t keep his _wow_ inside his mouth as he saw them again.

“That bad?” Shane rolled his eyes.

“No,” Ryan slowly stood, letting his feet hit the cold floor. “Wow, Shane, you look so… _regal_.”

“… Regal? Really?” Shane’s wings fluttered as he turned to look in the mirror. He raised his eyebrows, “Huh. I didn’t really look at those.”

“They’re beautiful, baby,” Ryan gushed, running through the feathers with his fingers and resting his cheek on Shane’s shoulder as they stared in the reflection. They seemed bigger and darker, sleeker and healthier than before.

“I guess you could say that,” Shane said, tilting his head, moving his wings to make sure they were even his.

-

_Shane was in the kitchen when Ryan came home from work, dropping his laptop bag into the nearest loveseat and walking straight toward the cabinet that held exclusively liquid courage. Shane raised an eyebrow, resting the wooden spoon he was using to create something he’d looked up earlier in a fit of hunger he couldn’t place._

_“Honey?” He said, as sweetly as possible, watching worriedly as Ryan slugged the big bottle of the Good Wine down from the top shelf, “It’s not even five in the evening. Maybe wait to get crazy until the sun goes down.”_

_“Can’t wait,” Ryan said, popping the cork with ease, “Now’s the time. Do you want any?”_

_“Um… yeah,” Shane twisted the knob on the stovetop until it clicked and slowly walked over to the glass cabinet. He turned back to see Ryan drinking from the bottle. “Oh.”_

_Ryan sighed and wandered into the living room, Shane right behind him, trying to run over the things he’d done that day and link them to Ryan’s mood. Maybe putting the decorative pillows back onto the bed after sleeping was really that important? He stood beside the couch, eyeing over Ryan’s placement, wondering if he should mold like usual or give distance._

_“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” Shane said, instead, swaying side to side._

_Ryan shook his head, taking another long swig, before throwing his arm out to his side. Shane inserted himself in the empty space, placing his head under Ryan’s chin._

_“I’m sorry,” Ryan sighed, hooking his fingers around Shane’s side and smooshing his cheek against Shane’s hair. “I shouldn’t be acting so pouty, I just had a bad day.”_

_“Yeah,” Shane flicked the bottle, a quiet ping echoing through the room, “I figured. Do you wanna talk about it?”_

_“Eh, you’d just get as worked up as me.”_

_Shane blinked, “Was it that guy?”_

_“What guy, Shane?” Ryan moved his head to look down at Shane, who was stiff._

_“The guy from that work mixer thing you brought me to,” Shane said, sitting up straighter. “The guy with the pen in his shirt pocket and the one who told us about how hungover he was for church last Sunday?”_

_“… No…”_

_After a brief explanation of what was said, Shane was snapping his shoes on and walking toward the door._

_Ryan grabbed onto his arm, tugging him back, “Shane, it’s not that big of a deal.”_

_“He has no idea what human decency is,” Shane said, pausing in the doorway. “I’m a demon, and I noticed. He’s terrible.”_

_“Okay, but that’s what coworkers are.” Ryan pulled Shane further into the living room, managing to settle him down on the couch. “You’re not supposed to tell much about yourself to your coworkers, or you’ll find out what kind of people they are.”_

_“… That seems inhumane,” Shane said quietly, crossing his legs and taking a deep breath. He held his arms out and Ryan found his way into his lap. “What did you do?”_

_“I told him he could look at it like that, and I asked my boss to leave early,” Ryan said, shaking his head. “As much as I don’t like to be around people that question our validity as a couple or whatever, sometimes you have to make do.”_

_“I wish I could change that,” Shane said genuinely._

_“Eh, if you did, I wouldn’t have had an excuse to leave early.”_

_Shane rolled his eyes and hugged his human closer, “You’re such an enabler.”_

_“Because I love you.”_

-

Ryan stared at Shane as he pulled his shirt over his head, adjusting the hem around his waist and smoothing out the wrinkled fabric over his chest. Ryan couldn’t help but stare at the dim lines across his back, ones he’d noticed briefly before Shane would slip into his arms and his mind would go blank.

“Baby?” He began, his voice just catching on his tongue, “Can you tell me more?”

“More what, dear?”

“About… you,” Ryan tapped his fingers on his knees. Shane continued to change into his pajamas. “You keep… mentioning little things about your past, and I don’t want to bring you down any traumatic paths, but I really… I’d like to know. What goes on in your head, who you are and were and… you know. Who your parents were.”

Shane’s shoulders went rigid, his head turning to the side slightly. Not enough to make eye contact. “You want to know, really?”

“Of course,” Ryan said, maybe too eagerly. “Of course I do. I want to know everything.”

“Well,” Shane said, pivoting on his heel and throwing open the closet, “Do you have any winter coats?”

“Winter coats?” Ryan asked, confused as he hauled himself to his feet. “Are we going somewhere?”

“Yeah,” Shane pulled an especially warm-looking coat out and throwing it towards Ryan. Ryan felt the fabric wrap around his arms and looked down at himself, where the jacket seemed to put itself on. “You’re a visual person, so I figured you’d like to see while you hear.”

“That’s thoughtful,” Ryan smiled and Shane paused in his search for boots to envelop Ryan in a tight hug. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

-

_Shane held Ryan’s hand under the table as the tall blonde woman stood from her chair, organizing the folded paper in her hands, wiping her tears, before commencing her speech, the second of the day._

_Shane found human weddings charming. He loved the ritualistic public attention to love, something he wasn’t familiar with before he’d met Ryan. Wyatt bounced on his lap, letting his head fall back in boredom every now and then, but Shane would redirect his attention back to the coloring book he’d conjured up when the bride and groom’s backs were turned._

_Ryan’s eyes watered throughout the entire ceremony, squeezing Shane’s hand every time he sniffed. Weddings absolutely wrecked him and knowing that someday soon he and Shane would be up there making a life pact made his emotions skyrocket._

_Later, after they were wed, Shane led Ryan’s mother onto the dance floor and danced with her, bringing up some ancient dance moves that his mother seemed surprised and delighted by. Ones she was familiar with._

_Ryan’s father would come up behind he and Wyatt, the boy asleep on his hip, and clasp his hand over his shoulder. “I like that Shane boy of yours.”_

_Ryan would beam at his father as Shane dipped his mother, her hands grasping his lapels tightly and laughing. “Yeah? I like him too.”_

-

Shane brought Ryan to stand facing the front door, kneeling to tuck the human’s pant legs into his socks. “It’s going to be cold out there.”

“This is California, Shane,” Ryan held his arms over his head as he was prompted, letting Shane tuck his sleeves into his gloves. “It isn’t _that_ cold.”

“It isn’t California out there anymore,” Shane said, looking over Ryan to make sure he’d insulated him properly. “It’s Chicago in the early 1900’s. Are you ready?”

“What?” Ryan blinked as Shane took his hand, completely bare-armed in his t-shirt, hand on the doorknob.

“I’ll explain in a little bit,” Shane said, opening the door.

A flurry. It was snowing outside. The cold stung Ryan’s cheeks, the sky outside was darker than it should have been at five in the afternoon, and Shane was leading him down an unfamiliar pair of steps, fifty feet higher than he should have been. Ryan clutched onto Shane’s arm as he lead him over to the balcony.

An apartment building, old and somewhat creaky, metal bars and stairs wrapped around the edges.

Shane lifted Ryan up and placed him on a slat that stuck out from one of the poles. Ryan crossed his legs over one another, looking to Shane for guidance and for answers. Shane pointed to the ground, the space between two brick buildings, just large enough to fit a dumpster’s width.

A man materialized in a black suit. Ryan wondered if he’d missed his entrance, but through the dim lighting provided by several barred windows whose curtains were paper thin, Ryan could see the man’s eyes were black.

“That’s Dennis,” Shane said quietly, hovering just slightly above the metal floor, holding Ryan’s hand as he pointed with his other. “He’s a pact demon. You know about those?”

“Yeah, I’ve read… enough,” Ryan said, nodding, his teeth chattering. Shane frowned and placed his hand on Ryan’s shoulder. A shock of warmth passed through him.

Another figure appeared, shawl over their head, waddling towards Dennis.

“Who’s that?” Ryan asked. “Another demon? You?”

“No, I’m not born yet,” Shane whispered. “That’s my mom.”

She dropped her shawl, folding it and tucking it into her pocket. Her hair was curled and short, framing her ears in the faint yellow light, and her stomach protruded from her abdomen. She was nearly due. Shane squeezed Ryan’s hand, and the human couldn’t help but stare.

“You’re in there?” He whispered.

“I’m totally in there.”

Shane’s mother squared her shoulders, hands pulled into fists, “I want to take it back.”

“Take it back?” Dennis chuckled from below, his voice much deeper than Ryan had anticipated. “That’s not quite how this works.”

“It should be,” she said, her accent strong through her teeth. “I need to take this back. I don’t mind his actions anymore, take it back.”

“You’re bankrupt, now,” the tall man said. “You don’t mind. Because you’re poor.”

“Maybe so.”

“I can take certain things back, but for a price.”

“Anything,” she said. She wrapped her arms around herself, one hand under her stomach. Dennis looked down for a moment with a grin. She held herself tighter. “I need my husband back.”

“Alright,” Dennis’ wings appeared. Ryan was proud to see that they were much smaller than Shane’s. “Then, let’s make another deal.”

She nodded.

“Your husband continues to accept bribes from Chicago gangsters to keep their buddies out of jail, you have some extra money in the bank,” Dennis stepped closer, placing his hand on her stomach. She flinched back, “But I get this.”

“This…?” She looked downwards. “The baby?”

“Yes.” He paused and smiled, “It’s a boy.”

Ryan looked to Shane, who looked over the rail with a frown. “Shane, what’s happening?”

“Mom and Dad were knee deep in the organized crime epidemic,” Shane said, watching as his mother held her hand out for a final handshake. As soon as their hands touched, a bright light appeared between their palms. “Dad took bribes, Mom felt bad and tried to fix him with a deal.

Ryan crawled down from his perch as Dennis waved Shane’s mother goodbye. She pulled her shawl over her head and disappeared into a stairwell.

"She regretted her decision, so they made another, better deal," Shane looked up at the top window, waiting until the light turned off inside. "Their wallet’s full forever if they curse their first-born son to demonhood before he can even think for himself."

Ryan looked up at Shane, blinking through the blur of tears, “Why would they do that, Shane?”

“They wanted a daughter, I suppose,” Shane squeezed Ryan’s hand in his and snapped a jacket around Ryan’s shoulders as he felt the human shiver beside him. “But no worries. I can think for myself now, and I think I’m better off than I would have been.”

“But still,” he whispered, pressing closer to Shane. “You deserved more.”

“I like to think so.” Shane extended his wing and tucked Ryan into him further, “But I can’t imagine there’s more for me than what I have now.”

Ryan opened his mouth to disagree, but Shane opened the door again, the warm smell of home beckoning him back inside.

-

_Wyatt leapt into Shane’s arms as soon as he walked into the school lobby, clinging to his shirt and letting warm tears fall into his neck. Shane hooked an arm around his bottom and held him tight, “Hey, buddy. What happened?”_

_“The bullies,” Wyatt said, incredibly composed still through tears. “Again.”_

_Shane shook his head, “I’m glad you told someone, honey. Thank you. You want me to sign you out?”_

_“Yes, please.”_

_Shane carried Wyatt into the office, grabbing a handkerchief from his back pocket and tucking it into the little hands. He smiled at the lady behind the desk, but let it soften at the sight of the principal, who lingered in the doorway._

_“Hey, Kerry,” Shane said, shifting Wyatt on his hip. “Just signing Wyatt out.”_

_“We’re taking many precautions to solve what happened today,” she said instead, shaking her head. “The children who took part are being punished.”_

_Shane knelt by the desk, initialing on the lines, before standing up again. Kerry raised an eyebrow at his ease of motion with a fourth grader on his hip, “That’s good. Thank you.”_

_“We can set up a parent meeting to speak more about this – “_

_“Can we talk about this another time, please?” Shane asked, gesturing to the child in his arms that was still on the verge of tears. “We can call later, or schedule some other time, but I think we need to just let him breathe for a moment.”_

_She blinked, “Okay. I’ll get to you.”_

_“Thank you,” Shane nodded, placing his hand on the back of Wyatt’s head, turning toward the door. He pushed the double doors with his hip and kissed Wyatt’s temple. “Ice cream?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_-_

“So, are you still in touch with Dennis?” Ryan asked, days later, as Shane pushed the grocery cart, reaching out with his long arm and tossing things into the basket without stalling.

“No, we kind of grew apart when I was in my thirties,” he said, slowing down so Ryan could catch up. “He helped me figure out how to stop aging and then he let me find my way, or whatever.”

“Oh,” Ryan said, nodding. He placed a bag of Goldfish in to the space between the handle and the divider, smiling up at Shane, who grinned in response and kissed his cheek.

They walked to the end of the aisle. Ryan seemed already deep in thought again.

“Did Dennis raise you? Or did your parents?” Ryan asked, stumbling over his feet to keep up with Shane’s pace.

“Um?” Shane stared down at his human with confusion. “Do you really wanna talk about this, here?”

“You told me you were a demon here.” Ryan looked around, “In fact, _right_ here. So why not?”

“That’s infallible logic,” Shane said, stopping in front of the pasta. He rubbed his forehead with his hand, “Well, Dad didn’t know Mom made a deal, so she kept it a secret until I started, uh. Growing horns and making my eyes black and all that stuff. I couldn’t control it because it was kinda new, so I was like… eight or nine when Mom kinda dumped me on Dennis.”

“That’s… not great,” Ryan said, wondering if it was socially acceptable to cry in the pasta aisle.

“It was alright, she visited me and stuff, but Dad thought I was kidnapped by someone. Which was a solid story, because Chicago… was a mess.”

“Makes sense?” Ryan said, pressing his fingertips into his tear ducts and looking toward the ceiling, warding off the tears. “Yeah, we should probably check out.”

“Okay,” Shane said with a brief nod. “Hand me the penne?”

-

_Ryan woke up, his alarm set for four in the morning, ready to finally wake up before Shane and prepare breakfast in bed._

_Every year since they’d met, Shane had surprised him with food on Father’s Day, and Ryan would be too confused and unprepared to gather his bearings. Shane was always the first to bring the big guns, to show Ryan how appreciated he was, to put himself last._

_Not this year. Ryan swore to himself he’d catch Shane unprepared and put him first. He’d make Shane make that surprised, stupid face that he’s made maybe twice the entire time Ryan’s known him._

_He bought and hid presents around the house that he knew Shane would look over the past week when Shane would go to pick Wyatt up from school. He, over several different instances of subliminal messaging, got Shane to confess his favorite breakfast food (fried tomatoes and coffee, something his dad used to make apparently), and finally, he was going to pull it all off without waking Shane up. Which was nearly impossible. But they drank a lot of wine the night before, and Shane had been buzzed enough to forget how to snap for a second or two._

_But then, Ryan’s alarm went off at four in the morning.  He turned over to look at Shane and found himself staring at an empty bed._

_“Damn it,” Ryan whispered, reaching out and placing his palm on Shane’s side of the bed. The sheets were cold._

_He slowly rolled out of bed, sore with defeat, shuffling toward the door with a sigh. That’s what he got, he figured, for thinking he could out-dad a demon._

_Ryan began to slow-clap as he walked down the hallway, ready to see Shane in his stupid apron at the kitchen counter, creating some masterpiece –_

_But then he heard the snoring from Wyatt’s room. Glee shot through his bones as he saw the demon’s wings wrapped around Wyatt, deep in sleep with no sign of waking._

_Ryan ran to the kitchen and started pulling pans out from under the stove._

_Shane would wake up an hour later, confused by the lack of a young boy under his wing, and stumble toward the living room while rubbing his eyes tiredly. He’d flick the lights on and find his family sitting on the couch, jumping up to hug him while exclaiming “Happy Father’s Day!” and he’d shed a tear or two._

_-_

“Can I meet him?”

Shane rolled over in bed, clicking on the lamp, “Who?”

“Dennis.”

“Ryan,” Shane whined, turning over and pushing his nose into Ryan’s neck, “It’s been weeks.”

“I can’t stop thinking about it,” Ryan whined back, worming his arm under Shane’s torso to pull him closer. “If he raised you, he’s like your parent, right? You met my parents, it’s only fair.”

“Uh? No, that’s not even… that’s not,” Shane sighed. “He’s not the paternal type, Ry. It’s been 70 years since I’ve even seen him, I don’t know if he’d want to.”

“He cared about you, though. Right?”

Shane shrugged to the best of his ability, “I don’t know, maybe? I was part of a deal, it’s different.”

 “It’s completely not,” Ryan said. “I want to meet him.”

“… Ryan.”

“I want to meet him.”

Shane fell silent, tapping his fingers on Ryan’s chest.

“I’m meeting him.”

“I can’t believe you,” Shane shook his head. “I’ll… I’ll see what I can do, I guess.”

“Good,” Ryan beamed, pressing a kiss to Shane’s hair. “I can’t believe you never mentioned him before. He’s coming to our wedding.”

“Ryan,” Shane said, “One step at a time. He might not even want to come and meet – “

“He’s coming to our wedding.”

“Fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i added another chapter because as this went on, i figured we needed to go ahead and give some closure. so expect another chapter after this one, though it may be short.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> time to meet dennis!

Shane stood with his hands in his pockets in the abandoned bank parking lot, swaying back and forth. The car idled a few feet away, Ryan huddled in the passenger seat and fiddling with the radio.

“Alright, I’m, uh. Making a deal, now,” Shane said to the empty air, a bit uncomfortable with the proceedings. He was never sure how to work the thing, “I am a consenting party, asking for Dennis. Pretty please.”

  _“Who’s calling?”_ came the familiar voice, though he hadn’t appeared quite yet.

“Uh… Shane. Madej.”

 _“… Madej?_ My _Shane?”_

“Yeah,” Shane said, kicking a pebble with a sigh, “Need to talk to you.”

_“What do I get in return?”_

“An invitation to my wedding.”

Ryan heard Shane’s voice and looked up to find the suited demon materialize by the hood of the car. He was much more imposing up close, much taller than he’d seemed from far away but so much shorter than Shane all the same. His arms were crossed over his chest, suit perfectly pressed and tailored not to hang too far over his white cuffs. Horns, blacker than black, poked out of dark hair, though his wings were nowhere to be seen.

“You’re getting married.” Dennis’ face was void of emotion, sizing Shane up with those dark eyes, “Since when?”

“Since now. And I’d love nothing more than for you to be there,” Shane said. He looked down at Dennis, raising his eyebrows, “Have you shrunk?”

“No, you’ve _grown_ ,” Dennis said. He looked toward the car, still blank, unfolding his arms to point, “And is that…?”

“Yes. That’s Ryan. He’s a human, and I love him.” Shane nodded to Ryan, who was frantically trying to open his door, though every time he’d press the unlock button, Shane would lock it back. Ryan groaned and banged on the window with his palms. Shane wasn’t sure if it was safe, yet, so he looked back to his guardian, “Will you come?”

Dennis looked Ryan up and down before turning back to Shane, “What’s the theme?”

“… I don’t know yet. We haven’t started planning.”

The demon sighed, looking to the sky, “You’ll fuck it up.”

“What?” Shane blinked, anger brewing in his stomach.

“You’re gonna need help.”

Shane didn’t understand. “Why are you being a dick? I invited you to my wedding.”

“I’m not being a dick, I’m offering my help. You dumb ass.”

Dennis finally laughed at his shocked demeanor, pulling the tall demon into a tight hug, lifting him off the ground. Ryan paused in his constant struggle to open the door to watch Shane melt into the embrace, letting a smile escape his lips as he hugged back, eyes fading to black seemingly without noticing. He seemed so loose, so unfamiliarly joyful as he pounded on Dennis’ back to let him down.

“You dress nicer,” Dennis said, letting Shane escape his hug and stumble back to the ground, “I know I didn’t teach you how to French tuck.”

“This is a French tuck?” Shane glanced down at his outfit, “I didn’t know that. He said it would look more professional.”

“You dressed up for me, then?” Dennis grinned, bearing his sharp teeth.

“I didn’t know you’d be so open to… uh. You know. Seeing me again. I figured I’d try to make a good impression.”

“Oh, please. You know I adore you.” Dennis placed his hand on Shane’s arm, nodding to the side, “And when do I get to see the little one in the car?”

“Ryan?” Shane looked into the windshield, where Ryan was glaring at him and mouthing _let me out, right now_. Shane winced and mouthed _sorry, honey_ in a reply.

“Who else would I be talking about?” Dennis asked, waving a hand and unlocking the car door before he could respond.

Ryan stumbled out of his seat and walked up to Shane, softening his glare only to look at Dennis, sticking his hand out, “Hi, I’m Ryan.”

“Hello, Ryan,” Dennis offered his, “Absolutely wonderful to meet you.”

Ryan just stared up at him, shaking his head, “You’re much nicer than Shane made you sound.”

“He’s always so sure that I’m terrible. I was just strict. I had to be, he was such a little rascal,” Dennis tried to ruffle Shane’s hair, but he stepped just out of reach. “I’m most likely nicer to him than I am to the rest of the world,” Dennis paused. “And now, of course, you.”

“And Wyatt,” Shane mumbled.

“Wyatt?” Dennis pivoted on his heel, trying to look through the car windows, “Who’s that?

“Our son,” Ryan said, shouting as he was lifted into the air. He looked over to find that Shane was right beside him. Both of them were squeezed between Dennis’ arms in the oddest hug either of them had ever experienced.

“A son!” Dennis cried, spinning the two around, “Beautiful!”

“ _Dennis_ ,” Shane said, closer to a whine than a demand.

“Oh, am I embarrassing you, bird?”

“Yes,” Shane said shortly, squirming his hand loose so that he could snap he and his human free. Ryan stilled at the familiar nickname. “So, you’ll come?”

“And I’ll plan,” Dennis said. He looked to Ryan, “Unless you object.”

“You’re probably much better at this than I am,” Ryan admitted, holding his hands out like an offer. “I’d love some help. And Shane is… _you know_.”

“Ryan!” Shane’s mouth fell open, deceived.

“I _do_ know,” Dennis nodded, holding an arm out and guiding Ryan toward the car, “He was born to be a thorn in the rose’s side.”

“I’m driving,” Shane said as Dennis opened the passenger side door, ushering Ryan in. “I need to be in control of something.”

“Nothing changes,” Dennis smirked and crawled into the back seat. Ryan smothered a grin as Shane aggressively shoved the key in the ignition.

-

Ryan closed the door after making sure Wyatt was buckled in, sliding into the front seat, “Guess who’s at the house?”

“… Bird?” Wyatt asked, a bit grumpy from a sleepover. “I _know_ he is.”

“Watch the sass,” Ryan looked at him through the rearview mirror, as he pulled out of the driveway, “Bird is there, but so is someone else. Someone very special.”

“Oh… okay,” Wyatt said, looking out the window, “Am I in trouble?”

“No, baby,” Ryan frowned, “Did you do something that would require a punishment?”

“… Is grandma and grandpa there?” Wyatt asked instead, looking out the window.

“No,” Ryan said, squinting, “Let’s go back to talking about your sleepover – “

By the time they pulled into the driveway, Wyatt was yanking on the door handle to escape, the child lock preventing him from escaping his father’s red-hot questions that bounced off the windshield. Ryan eventually caved, unlocking the door and watching Wyatt scramble from the car and speed toward the door. He paused, his hand on the doorknob as he turned to Ryan, silently asking permission to burst in and hide despite the clear presence of a new person inside.

Ryan just shook his head, muttered out a _be nice, Wy,_ and opened the door.

Shane had Dennis by the ankle ten feet in the air, the shorter demon’s arms crossed over his chest in defiance. Ryan slowly closed the door with an eyebrow raised as Wyatt just stared in mischievous wonder.

“You’re stronger than you used to be,” Dennis mumbled.

“No, you’ve just gotten weaker,” Shane lifted him higher with a laugh, swaying him slightly like a ragdoll. Dennis struggled, trying to grab Shane’s leg to offset his balance, but Shane held Dennis farther away. “And I’ve gotten taller. How does it feel to be the small one?”

“Not great,” Dennis chuckled.

“Bird?” Wyatt asked. Shane paused and let Dennis go, both of them slowly floating down to the ground.

As soon as Shane landed, he rushed to lift the boy up and hug him close. Wyatt pushed at him, embarrassed in front of the still-unknown guest, but eventually sunk into the embrace as he’d admittedly missed Shane.

“You must be Wyatt,” Dennis said, smoothing his suit jacket with his palms before smiling warmly, “Nice to meet you.”

“Who are you?” Wyatt said instead. Shane smiled at him, but Ryan urged him to be kind.

“I’m Shane’s…” Dennis looked Shane up and down, “How do I explain? Does he know…”

“No,” Shane said.

“Dad. I’m Shane’s dad.”

Shane blinked, “No, you’re not.”

“I’m _so_ your dad,” Dennis said, the words odd in his elegant tone. He held his hand out and Wyatt tentatively shook it. “Firm grip.”

“…Thanks,” Wyatt said. “Do you have wings too?”

“Wyatt,” Ryan whispered.

“I do,” Dennis nodded. “Not as impressive as your father’s but…”

“My dad doesn’t have wings,” Wyatt said, confused.

“Oh, he doesn’t…” Shane glanced at Dennis, “He doesn’t call me dad. I’m not really – “

“You _are_ really,” Ryan interrupted.

“Yeah, but he calls me Bird instead of… _that_ ,” Shane clarified.

Ryan frowned, looking at Shane, “You’re his father too, Shane.”

“No, he’s not?” Wyatt looked between them.

Dennis managed to divert the conversation back to his demon features. Shane was relieved, and Wyatt seemed to completely forget what had happened, but Ryan couldn’t stop thinking about it. He sat on the couch with Wyatt in his side as Shane and Dennis compared abilities, watching as Shane laughed at Dennis’ smaller frame, and stared at Shane, wondering if he should have done a better job at validating Shane as a father.

-

 “So, now that the boys are out for ice cream,” Dennis said as the door clicked shut, “We’re talking now, then?”

“What?” Ryan looked up from the sink,

“Your thoughts, dear Ryan, are incredibly loud,” Dennis shook his head, striding across the living room and into the kitchen, grabbing a rag, “You can’t do anything to create a father dynamic, it isn’t something you can build.”

“I know,” he replied, defeated. “It’s just a bit worrying. Shane’s lived with us for about five years now and Wyatt still hasn’t…”

“It takes time. When he first met Shane, it wasn’t in the romantic sense. Give him time,” Dennis held his hand out and Ryan stared at it. “Dish.”

“Oh,” Ryan nodded and lifted the bowl from the soapy water, “Thank you. Can’t you just… zap these clean?”

“Do you want me to?” Dennis raised an eyebrow.

“…No,” Ryan said, against his wishes, dipping his hands back into the sink.

They cleaned dishes in silence, the noise of sloshing water and clinking, while Dennis would hum with amusement or admiration at certain glasses and plates that passed through his fingers.

“So,” Ryan said eventually, the awkwardness burying its claws into his arms, “Are all demons good with kids?”

“Pardon?” Dennis flicked his wrist to the side, sending a dry wine glass up and into a cabinet above their heads.

“Shane’s nicer than any human man I’ve ever met when it comes to Wyatt, he’s more patient than I am most of the time. And you’re the same,” Ryan said, pulling the stopper. The drain glugged. “So are there any demons who are bad with kids?”

“I mean,” Dennis said slowly, “There are demons who are pretty bad. But if they want to be good for kids, they can be. I know a few terrifying guys who have spawn of their own, so.”

“Huh,” Ryan said, wiping his hands on his jeans. “That makes sense.”

Dennis nodded, still not sure of his answers, “Demons are like humans. There are a few bad ones, but they don’t speak for the good ones.”

It took a few location changes and half an episode of The Good Place for Ryan to come up with any new questions. Dennis was sitting on the back of the couch, his shoe-clad feet hovering just above the couch cushions (because he wasn’t an _animal_ ), his head propped up on his hands as he stared at the television screen, and Ryan was gnawing on his lip trying to keep his mind blank. But he couldn’t.

“What was…” he started, before he could form a sentence, “What was Shane like, when he was little?”

“Like he is now, I suppose,” Dennis’ eyebrows furrowed as he thought. “Thoughtful and curious. Bit of a brat.”

Ryan chuckled and nodded, “Sounds right.”

“But you know,” Dennis floated down to settle next to Ryan, “It was tough for him in those days. His mother and I were quite inclusive with his education, but I had to wait until she was gone to teach him the real stuff. The identity stuff.”

Ryan frowned and nodded.

“Being gay’s tough,” Dennis continued, “Shane’s not normal, he never has been. I wish he’d been born around the time you had been. He fits much better here.”

The words made Ryan swell with pride, “I agree.”

“Sure, he may have been a little bit of a mess between when he left and when he met you, but…” Dennis shrugged and smirked, “He had some years to be the bad guy, and it turns out he doesn’t like it much.”

“Did he… kill anyone?” Ryan’s palms were braced on his knees, ready to take a blow. He’d never heard Shane talk about how he was a bad guy. He definitely hadn’t thought about the whole Soul Addiction Thing for a good second. Did he kill anyone to get those souls? So many questions, all of them terrifying.

Dennis choked on the air, “NO! Never. I would have been notified. And he doesn’t have an evil bone in his body.”

Ryan nodded, though he exhaled in relief, “Right. I know that.”

“I know,” Dennis lifted himself back to his perch. “Like I said. He didn’t like being bad. Especially when he had someone he could be good for.”

The front door opened, and Shane entered with Wyatt hanging around his neck, a chocolate ring around the boy’s mouth while Shane held a strawberry cone in his left hand.

“What’s going on in here?” Shane asked, letting Wyatt down so he could walk further in, squinting as Ryan’s watery eyes. Wyatt ran and jumped on the couch beside Dennis, who raised an eyebrow. Shane frowned, “Ryan?”

“Oh, _Shane_ ,” Ryan said, occupying his son’s spot around the demon’s neck, sobbing. Shane glared over Ryan’s head at Dennis, who simply pulled his handkerchief from his pocket and wiped Wyatt’s mouth despite the boy trying to push him away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohHHHHHHHHHHH it's timeeeeee to plan for the weddingggggg i'm so excited.


End file.
